And I’m his friend Jesus. Kids don’t turn rotten just from watching TV. Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You’d think it would be something you’d have to freebase. Well, thanks to the Internet, I’m now bored with sex. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence?
Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal?

It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… It’s okay, Bender. I like cooking too.

Doomsday device?

Ah, now the ball’s in Farnsworth’s court! And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? It may comfort you to know that Fry’s death took only fifteen seconds, yet the pain was so intense, that it felt to him like fifteen years. And it goes without saying, it caused him to empty his bowels. I don’t know what you did, Fry, but once again, you screwed up! Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. Bender, you risked your life to save me!

There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! Meh. You lived before you met me?! Fry, you can’t just sit here in the dark listening to classical music. Yeah, I do that with my stupidness.

I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. No, I’m Santa Claus! And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? Leela’s gonna kill me. Bender, we’re trying our best. I’m Santa Claus! One hundred dollars.

Can we have Bender Burgers again?

Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. Oh right. I forgot about the battle. She also liked to shut up! Please, Don-Bot… look into your hard drive, and open your mercy file! You seem malnourished. Are you suffering from intestinal parasites?

You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. Stop it, stop it. It’s fine. I will ‘destroy’ you! Why would a robot need to drink? Professor, make a woman out of me.
Can we have Bender Burgers again? WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Yes. You gave me a dollar and some candy.
Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? I could if you hadn’t turned on the light and shut off my stereo. It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you? Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony?

Bender! Ship!

Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, “Straighten your pope hat.” And “Put on your good vestments.” Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Bender, you risked your life to save me!
Too much work. Let’s burn it and say we dumped it in the sewer. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence. OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. When will that be?

I’m Santa Claus! No! The cat shelter’s on to me. Soothe us with sweet lies. Oh right. I forgot about the battle.
Oh God, what have I done? Kif might! Yeah, and if you were the pope they’d be all, “Straighten your pope hat.” And “Put on your good vestments.” Oh, you’re a dollar naughtier than most. Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.